![]() This year, Jayden will be opening presents, sharing cake with his friends and enjoying family time but how do we mark the day for Zackie? How to we hide our sadness and grief from our happy birthday boy?The question haunts me every September, as I find the perfectly appropriate way to acknowledge the day for Zack while not taking away from Jayden’s celebration. The joy I felt being pregnant, the excitement as were about to meet them and then the way the world changed just after Zack arrived. ![]() As I wrap my head around another year without Zack, I’m overwhelmed with memories of what it was like leading up to the arrival of our twins. Four years since we all celebrated together. This year, on September 21st, it will be our boys’ 7th birthday. While it can be difficult to relive our moments struggling with the same questions, it’s comforting to know that I might be able to help another family think of a special way to honour the birthday of someone they miss. It was heavenly.I really love being the one that people come to for advice on how to honour someone they love, when they have died. I cannot tell you the joy of pulling the white cotton granny undies, over my tummy and all the way up to the bottom of my bra. I texted back to ask if she minded popping to the shops and getting me the biggest pair of undies she could find - comedy large. There weren’t many people I would say this to, but Veronica was certainly one. She was excited to come in and meet Louis and asked what could she bring me. It was from Veronica, a dear family friend and surrogate mother figure to lots of people in her life. ![]() As I came back from the bathroom and was trying to fashion my underwear to sit under the bandages my phone pinged with a text. Sleep deprived, and full of new mother anxiety, the added constant pain was not what the doctor ordered. "I cannot tell you the joy of pulling the white cotton pants, over my tummy." Image: Hands down the best gift you can receive during this time Incredibly painful! Oh I am wincing now just thinking of how it felt. Logistically, this meant that when I went to put my underwear on (and I lean toward the bigger pant, for fuller coverage) the top of the elastic sat directly on the wound. If you can imagine the top of your pubic hair line, my wound sat between here and my belly button. The incision from the operation, instead of being down in the bikini area sat way up higher. Relieved to hear my swollen belly, just like my cankles, would go down over the next few days, I was however left with a rather painful problem. stomach I was reassured it was fluid retention. I remember asking my obstetrician was this normal as I pointed at what looked like my eight months’ pregnant. I was under no illusion that washboard abs would appear once bub pooped out – not least because I’ve never had an ab in my life – but I thought I would lose some of my pregnancy tummy. ![]() But what I didn’t know was that once I’d had the baby, my tummy would remain swollen for a few days.Īctually, can I just take a moment now to let other people know about this. I also knew that eventually it would fade and be hidden in the bikini-bottom area. I knew there would be a scar where the surgeon cuts through the stomach muscles. "I couldn't find the instruction manual!" Image: The c-section reality not many people realise ![]()
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